my life.

my life is such that complete bullshit immediately follows my recognition of happiness.

recruiter never called me. s made me furious. can’t shake the ex-girlfriend worries.

looking forward to tomorrow. looking forward to going 1 day without stalking her on facebook. looking forward to feeling happy again and this time not acknowledging it so that happiness may continue on for longer than 1 day.

hometown.

vacationing back in the city i grew up in. it feels so good.

i fear that something is brewing at work and i will not have a job when i return next monday.

still in love. completely in love. miss my love.

24 + 1 day.

i swore i looked different all day yesterday. something was “off” with my eyes. it might have just been smeared eyeliner.

i had a really happy evening. every minute.

24 will be the year i find a new, challenging, higher-paying job. 24 will be the year i stop obsessing about not “winning” so i can figure out what it is i really want.

the way things were.

perhaps things have returned to normal. or soon on their way. i am loved and lucky but insatiable. here’s going on record that i have it pretty good. here’s also acknowledging that my quest for “more!” have almost cost me schroeder on multiple occasions.

2 more days of 23. currently making half the money i thought i’d be making by 24. perhaps a miracle will happen in the next 48 hours.

annoying.

self-absorbed.

today, 10 people got laid off from my 150-person company. i’m an adult. an adult working through her first economic recession.

today, i walked into my president’s office and said i was bored at work and need more money. 1 hour later, people started to get escorted out of the building. i’m thankful that my employment is safe and no one on my team is getting the boot. i feel ironic and completely self-absorbed.

oh, and i think schroeder is still in love with his ex-girlfriend. my dancing make him smile. but she plays the piano.